“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” – Nora Roberts
One of the biggest blocks my coaching clients face when we start working together is the fear of rejection. To protect themselves from being rejected, they resist taking action towards their dreams and feel trapped. Through coaching, they learn to use fear as an ally to help them move forward.
We are so afraid of rejection because we believe NO means that we are not good enough – this is embarrassing. To avoid humiliation, we remain in situations which are not fulfilling and end up playing a small game. We give so much power to our fears that they become scarier than the thing that we are afraid of, rejection in this case. Avoidance of pain takes precedence over pleasure.
After watching the TEDx talk on the Surprising Lessons From 100 Days of Rejection by Jia Jiang, I have been inspired to get rejected. Why? Because my dreams are more important than the approval of others and are TOTALLY worth the risk of being rejected.
What about you? Are you ready to play a BIG game? If you are, I would like to offer a challenge. Should you choose to accept, the world is yours for the taking.
I can sense your excitement! Woo hoo!
So, here is the challenge: for the next 30 days, put yourself in situations where you expect to be rejected by someone at least once each day. Ask your boss for a raise, ask your bus driver to give you a free ride, ask that cute guy/girl out on a date. Be creative and outrageous with your request. After all, you are expecting a NO.
Why do this exercise? It’s not to torture you, but instead it will set you free.
- You will gain confidence as you realize how irrational the fear of rejection is
- You will give yourself permission to fail, which is a good thing because through failure we learn and grow
- You will learn not to be attached to outcomes. How can you make a judgment on something you’ve never experienced before?
- And you just may get a YES where you expected a NO, which opens new doors
I know this may feel scary, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Fear is only a sensation. You will also feel free because you are taking risks to realize your dreams. Every no gets you closer to a yes. That is priceless!
Say NO to the fear of rejection! Say YES to a life of purpose!
Are you willing to run the experiment? I would love to hear from you. Please share in the comment section below, and let me and others in the community know how we can support you!
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